Prosciutto and Melon

9 Aug

At Brown’s County Market, we know our customers.  We know what they eat and how they shop.

This lady holding up the line today, she shops every day.  Every day.  Maybe that is how they do it in France, but I think she’s just disorganized.  It’s ridiculous how much money (and time) she spends on groceries.  Sad.

Take today, for instance.  She’s got a whole two items in her cart: a honeydew melon and a something from the deli with no price on it.  Does she happen to know the price?

Uh, no, sorry, no she doesn’t. 

You don’t have to be sorry to me, lady, you’re not being careless with my money.  And this happens all the time.

Now, I would never have paid $7.95 for two paper-thin slices of ham, even if it is called prosciutto.  How dumb.  It’s just food.  I could get two pounds of ground beef, hamburger buns and potatoes and feed my whole family for that kind of money.  But I don’t say that to her.

Be the change you want to see in the world, right?

I make conversation with my customers.  It’s the polite thing to do.  So I ask her about the prosciutto and melon combination.  Just to be nice.  These foodies, with their fancy coffees, imported cheeses and organic produce, always turning their nose up at what the rest of us eat, she says:

You like ham and pineapple, don’t you?

You like ham and pineapple, don’t you?  That’s the line that gets a laugh at my kitchen table over a glass of wine, if this is a story about snobs in the Midwest who think about food too much.

21 Responses to “Prosciutto and Melon”

  1. Paul Costopoulos August 9, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

    So now you are both sides of the mirror.

    • jenny August 10, 2011 at 5:40 am #

      I bet you are too, Paul.

  2. dafna August 9, 2011 at 7:38 pm #

    he, he, enjoy the proscuitto and the supermarket!

    jacob, although he has no genetic predisposition for pork (it actually made him sick the first time he ate it) loves odd expensive italian salamis and pepperonis.

    i guess they are hard to resist.

    • jenny August 10, 2011 at 5:56 am #

      Is there nothing in the Talmud that would support an exception for odd italian salamis and pepperonis? As long as they’re expensive? 🙂

  3. Mr. Crotchety August 9, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    Oh, and I don’t like ham and pineapple very much either. It definitely has no place on a pizza.

    Now who’s telling secrets?

    What does MoR say? (he’s probably on holiday for half the summer in some insolvent yet *civilized* country).

    • jenny August 10, 2011 at 6:03 am #

      Note to Mr. Crotchety character development file: No ham and pineapple, especially on pizza.

      As for Roma, perhaps you have now conjured him by mentioning his name. It’s a trick I’ve seen folks try with you more than once. A kind of virtual raindance.

      • dafna August 10, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

        shhhhh… the conjuring Mr. C trick was a secret.

        now that Mr. C. knows that we know, it will never work again!

        MoR is most likely taking a well deserved break.

      • jenny August 11, 2011 at 6:18 am #

        Sorry, dafna, I blew it. Here’s a thought: We’ll give “Red Rover” a try. That might work.

  4. Mr. Crotchety August 9, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    One more thing.

    Do you have a Cracker Barrel in your town? Go to the Cracker Barrel and tell me if that is not the setting of the most depressing short story you have yet to write. (you won’t write it because you will write a post about it and thus sublimate the creative energy that would otherwise bring your modest fortune and artistic fame as a writer.)

    • jenny August 10, 2011 at 6:17 am #

      Cracker Barrel is depressing? It’s the modern-day Algonquin Hotel, gone national. All around the country writers and actors gather at the local CB to hang out and be clever. I’m the Dorothy Parker of our chapter of the Vicious Circle.

      Dorothy Parker with biscuits and gravy.

      Creative energy now fully sublimated, I think I’ll go to work. 🙂

  5. Belinda August 10, 2011 at 8:11 am #

    Brilliant 🙂 🙂

    • jenny August 11, 2011 at 6:35 am #

      I’m from Meadville, Belinda: a little bit of brilliance comes just from drinking the water. 😉

  6. Richard August 10, 2011 at 11:59 pm #

    I commend you for the distinction you draw between this and the previous recipe.

    I savour the subtlety and the delight you unfold.

    A true landmark in the history of taste.

    • jenny August 11, 2011 at 6:18 am #

      It’s my favorite genre, Richard: make fun of myself first. Before someone else does.

      • Richard August 11, 2011 at 10:38 pm #

        You mean you were having a laugh?
        I’m devastated.

      • jenny August 11, 2011 at 10:58 pm #

        I don’t like to devastate. My next post will be serious, Richard. With endnotes.

  7. Man of Roma August 11, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    Here I am then 😉

    Not that I have much to say, except that, yes, ‘prosciutto e melone’ is a classic and I like it very much.

    • jenny August 11, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

      Whoa! Just like magic! I was just getting ready to say “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Roma come over!”


  8. dafna September 9, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    Hi jenny,

    that’s the second time you’ve quoted from “A Psalm of Life”. Is it a favorite?

    see, sometimes people do listen 🙂 i used to sleep with Longfellow under my pillow.

  9. dafna September 10, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    thank you jenny,

    when i had trouble sleeping, “the day is done” always helped.

    i’ve her poem. but amazon only allows me to see page 219, so if the poem continues i didn’t get to see it.

    perhaps i should have Jacob start reading me Dante. as MoR knows, it is my Mt. Everest. I have no less than four translations of the inferno in the house and have never been able to make heads or tails of it.

    reading it is on my bucket list.

    can you believe there is a play by shakespeare on Jacob’s seventh grade reading list?

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